


Falling

by BlackRose42



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-01
Updated: 2013-05-01
Packaged: 2017-12-10 01:56:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/780439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackRose42/pseuds/BlackRose42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A poem about Castiel. Covers his story from the beginning of season 4 through early season 8.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling

Falling

when I pulled you out of Hell  
I never planned to rebel  
never planned to disobey, never planned to fall  
but I can’t help but come every time you call  
you taught me everything I know about free will  
now I’ll fight for you no matter who I have to kill  
now as these doubts and fears consume me  
we’ve become something like a family  
I can no longer give in to Heaven’s demands  
tormented by all of this blood on my hands  
too many things that I just don’t understand  
like cell phones, interrogations, and the pizza man  
but for your sake I will do everything that I can  
never thought we would have such a profound bond  
now all my former motivations and certainties are gone  
never thought I’d become so attached to humanity  
now I can no longer be detached from humanity  
because the more time I spend with you and Sam  
I feel less like an angel and more like a man  
everything has become so confusing  
is this what it means to be human?  
never thought I’d grow to care so much  
now nothing is the way it was before  
never thought I’d grow to fear Heaven  
I can’t trust my family anymore  
constantly at war with my sisters and brothers  
don’t know what’s right and wrong anymore  
hopelessly praying to an absent Father  
God remains silent, I don’t know what to do  
can no longer deny that I’m falling for you  
and I’ve been told that I have too much heart  
now I’ve seen that humans are more than works of art  
the Earth is a battlefield but what is my part  
in this war? what am I fighting for?  
so tired of just taking Heaven’s orders  
maybe I wasn’t meant to be a soldier  
now I wonder how far this dangerous path will go  
now that I have enemies both above and below  
now we’ll take the Devil down  
and make these assbutts frown  
God refused to answer, so I took his place  
can you ever forgive me for this disgrace?  
someone had to step up and take control  
I’ll do whatever I must to achieve my goal  
I was made to be an immortal soldier  
so bow down and prepare for a massacre  
can you ever forgive me for this folly?  
and my ill-fated deal with Crowley?  
I’ll swallow all these monsters down  
and then in this lake I will drown  
and now that our friendship has been dissolved  
I’d do anything for our conflict to be resolved  
I got a whole new identity when I lost my memory  
never imagined that I would ever fall so far  
but you still kept my coat in the trunk of your car  
for you I would die a thousand times  
pull the Devil from your brother’s mind  
sometimes I wish I could just be free  
spend all my time watching the bees  
I don’t deserve your pity and I’ve never felt so ashamed  
but I’ll prove to you that sorry is more than just a game  
couldn’t answer all those times you prayed to me  
all those lonely nights while trapped in Purgatory  
crying out your name as the portal closes  
but it’s okay, this is the path I’ve chosen  
Dean, I’m so sorry that this is how it has to end  
but I must stay here to seek redemption  
you try, but you can’t save everyone my friend


End file.
